Do you ever wonder why some people seem to effortlessly navigate social situations while others often struggle? Self-esteem and generally how you feel about yourself plays a significant role in how you interact with others.
Whether you’re extraverted or more reserved and introverted, your self-esteem impacts every conversation and relationship in your life. Understanding how your self-worth affects communication is important for your confidence and navigating relationships.
Understanding the Connection Between Self-Esteem and Communication
You might not realize it in your day-to-day life, but your self-esteem plays a role in how you communicate with others. When you feel confident, you’re more likely to speak up, share your thoughts, and connect with people. However, if you’re struggling with low self-esteem, you may be easily tempted to turn away from social situations or avoid conversations, possibly feeling your voice doesn’t have worth or relevance, or that others aren’t interested in what you have to offer.
Low self-esteem often leads to shyness and avoiding social interactions. You may find yourself experiencing more anxiety around people, or even more prone to depression as a result of lower self-esteem and self-worth negatively impacting your relationships. Conversely, higher self-esteem and feeling you have more to offer can boost your assertiveness and confidence with others.
Embracing Your Communication Style
Everyone has their own way of interacting. Whether you prefer one-on-one conversations or you thrive in group settings, understanding your own tendencies can help boost your self-confidence. It actually tends to be more difficult for people when 
they are trying to emulate other people’s conversation styles, and being inauthentic as themselves with others. This can lead to feelings disconnected from your own self and can result in lowering self-esteem.
When people are struggling with low self-esteem, they often turn to what they’ve seen others do, perhaps in movies, TV shows, or peers around them. This can be even more difficult if you’re emulating parents who struggled with low self-esteem. In these situations, it can feel like you’re making a copy of a copy, so to speak. You may be imitating your parents imitating someone else. This can lead to feeling further detached from yourself, as well.
Spoiler Alert: There is No Right Way
Society in general can make it appear as if there are “right” ways to communicate or use one’s voice in order to be likable or desirable as a person. The more these particular, often stereotypical styles are propped up by society, the more insecure it can make people feel whose style doesn’t reflect these. However, in reality, there is no right way to harness your voice. Think for a moment of the many different ways you’ve seen people talk. Finding your own voice and sense of self and becoming able to trust yourself leads to confidence and increases self-esteem.
As you become more aware of your communication style, you’ll find it easier to be assertive. This self-awareness allows you to engage in more meaningful interactions. I know it’s cliche to say, “don’t be afraid to be yourself,” but authenticity is actually central to forming genuine connections and navigating interactions. If you’re not sure of your own voice or communication style, this can lead to increased anxiety because you may feel lost in interactions, trying to think of what people want to hear you say, or what others might say, instead of your own authenticity.
Finding Your Voice and Moving Forward
Low-self esteem can develop for many different reasons. Perhaps from trauma such as being bullied, rejected, raised by parents with low self-esteem, toxic work or home environments, and any number of life experiences. If you struggle with low self-worth, with communication, or have difficulty forming relationships, it’s important to remember that many people share similar experiences.
The starting point for moving forward is to work through your own experiences that are bolstering your lowered sense of self, and to develop a sense of empathy for yourself as you build towards understanding and embracing yourself. As you continue to develop confidence and assertiveness you’ll likely notice social interactions becoming more smooth and less daunting. Therapy is a good place to work through low self-esteem, find your voice, sense of self, and communication style. If you struggle with anxiety or low-self esteem, reach out to start moving forward.
