Grass is Greener Syndrome & Therapy for Commitment Issues

Do You Experience Grass Is Greener Syndrome?

Has fear of commitment and intimacy, perfectionism, fear of missing out (FOMO), or difficulty making decisions created a sense of instability in your life? Perhaps commitment feels daunting and intimacy and sex feel unsatisfying.

Does it seem like you often end up disappointed, unfulfilled, or looking for more out of your relationships or life? Maybe you often function at a distance in your relationships, or you struggle with high expectations that tend to leave you feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

Is FOMO following you, causing you to think that there must be something better out there? You may have noticed a pattern of repeatedly starting over in your relationships, your career, or even where you live. Or, perhaps you often find yourself ruminating about your next, or previous, relationship.

One of my more unique and frequently sought-out specialties is helping people who are confronted with exactly these issues. Grass Is Greener Syndrome describes a pattern of struggling to find enough satisfaction in the present, often resulting in starting over in various ways and making it difficult to settle down in life. 

Grass Is Greener Syndrome—An Exhausting and Frustrating Cycle

Fear of living a life of disappointment and deprivation can develop into the grass is greener cycle. It may feel like you’re focused on finding what you’re missing while it creates a push-pull between what you have and what you don’t have. 

This may lead you into a pattern of frequently breaking up relationships, changing careers, or moving geographically when difficulties and disappointments start to show up. Perfectionism, difficulty making decisions/decision paralysis, and FOMO, along with fear of commitment and intimacy are part of what fuels this exhausting and frustrating cycle.

Working with a therapist who specializes in a form of therapy that addresses Grass Is Greener Syndrome can help you win the struggle with perfectionism and commitment phobias, regain control of your life, and find fulfillment in the present. 

Either State—Running Or Paralyzed—Are Common Traits Of The Grass Is Greener Syndrome

Typically, people who are caught in the grass is greener cycle get stuck in fantasies of a different life—what they may be missing, or even what they wish to relive from the past. This grip of nostalgia, combined with a starvation of needs, can consume people’s minds in a deeply emotional and even torturous battle of craving gratification and feeling the urge to run from their relationships, while also yearning to settle down.

Often, when people begin to see that they aren’t fulfilled, and maybe even held back by continuing to go from one situation to the next, they instead end up stuck in place and no longer feel confident in their decision-making. Of course, simply not running and staying in place in decision paralysis doesn’t resolve the grass is greener issue, either. You may continue feeling largely unfulfilled and disappointed in the present, while still having one foot out the door. 

Dealing With The Grass Is Greener Syndrome Involves Battling Deeply Intense Emotions

Part of what makes the Grass Is Greener Syndrome so difficult is that you may want to make it stop immediately on your own. Your wish may be to find something clear and obvious or perfect and ideal. But it’s not that simple.

While in your mind you might want to choose to just settle where you are, the feeling of emotional deprivation can be so strong that it feels like you have to follow the craving or the ensuing pain will be intolerable. And when you don’t know what else to do, you may even try to shut off your emotions as a solution, but that only lasts so long before the urge to fulfill your starved needs resurfaces. 

You know you can’t go on like this anymore. And perhaps that’s the reason you have started to look for therapy that can help you confront anything from deep-seated commitment issues to help with perfectionism, chronic disappointment, and more, so you can find satisfaction, happiness, and confidence in your life.